i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
