Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
