I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
