Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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