at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You had me at "let me see your balls"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
