I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
