Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
