hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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