i need an iv and a liver transplant
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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