Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
