My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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