Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
