Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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