I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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