Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
