Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
