it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
