I got chris browned last night
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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