Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
