I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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