Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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