Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
