YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
