I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it's like iHOP with fire
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
