I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
