You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
