I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
