My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
