the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
