is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
