I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize