If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he thought i was a dude.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
