which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
