Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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