I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
