I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
