My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
my poor anus
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
