the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
