before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
