I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
