I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
