its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize