So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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