How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
nutella sex= disaster
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
