My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The Olympian is in my bed
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
