Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
