Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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