Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I will pee on everything he values.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
