hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
