Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is my gift to your gina
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize