Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
