I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
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