She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
