And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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