Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
