My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
