pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was not drunk enough for that final.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
