But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
