so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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