Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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